walking through community

I thought that I would try really hard to post every day for a week walk a week in my shoes I guess.
Yesterday was sunday
now I could do fleshly abut yesterday as all my old niggly moans and goans seem to dominate my day.... (hmm that does seem to be a patten)
Yesterday morning worship was really inspiring we were singing a song about God being holy and it occurred to me what is holy what did it mean??? Did I ever really look on God as holy and how could I if I was not sure what it ment.... Hmm must look at that again.
Any way God spoke to me clearly he spoke about how I used the excuses not to look on his glory that my eyes were down cast and so was my soul and that I had to raise my vision and look to the horizon so that I could see the blessings and the dangers.....
then I lost it with a brother that soooo windes me up I was in the mini bus waiting to come home and I was not relaxed as I was the only sister in the back and it was full of brothers most of them I did not know so asked this brother to swap he refused so I got out and said I would find another way to get home any way my house hold leaders insisted that he moved so he decided to walk I did feel bad but I know that this brother and I really do bring out teh worst in each other ( I think that he reminds me too much of my natural dad)
I was really feeling insecure there did not seem to be many regular folks around but many visitors that brings out the eobbles in my soul and shows how many holes God still needs to repair.
I disappeared for a while had a few bits to do down my room (excuses really) but God soon sorted that out and I bowed the knee and went back to give myself.]
tthere was a growing resentment in my soul which I am aware i need to tackle
there are so many that come around that take community for grated I feel like they are walking over zion,s beauty and rubbing her face in the dirt and that makes me angry
any way at teh evening meeting God shone forth and showed a few disrepectful chav's that God is not what tey thought that that Church is not a dark dingy building that is freezing cold noone around here speak in hushed tones Praise God
After supper I had to get to grips with common purse only the second time so all feels very new and I have not got a clue what I am doing it is kinda weird having to tell someone what you need cash for and having to be accountable for what you had done with your cash from last week but it is so freeing and it is like a massive weight has been lifted and I am loving it

So this is the life I am living and I would not have it any other way