I have had it I am throwing in the towel.
If God was to take me back in time and say yoiu now have a choice be a parent or not I would opt not to be...... Do not take that wrong I love my kids and i would die for them.... But the pain of being parent is sometimes too hard..... And life as a single parent is soooooo lonley and I have had enough. I look at my kids I have 2 that are screwed up on drugs one of which i saw tonight and he looked a mess and is wearing the same clothes he was 2 weeks ago, all i get from him is manipulation and disrepect and i can not do this any more and the older one all i seem to get is can you help we need money or food or what ever I am tired.
And the younger two well my daughter is so dam abocessed with going to hang out on street corners and at teh godivia staue in cov where all the flippin goths and druggies hang out all I have had for weeks is her bangin on that she has no freedom and how much she wants to be 18 so she can get away from me and this week end we had a festival in cov and she wanted to go I said no and stuck to it and she is so full of resentment and i can not do this any more
and my younger one has started to do stuff that is not good whaich i will not go in to but follows the path of two of my other children and i feel so flippin alone
I lost it when we got home tonight and told them they can do what they want as i am resigning i am not doing anything any more i will not stop them from doing anything it is their life i am too worn down to carry on
GOD help please i can not do this any more
I so wanted my kidws childhoods to be full of happy memories and all i ahve ended up with is damged kids
i wanna shout and scream
my heart is breaking and it is so dam painful and i do not know where to go for hgelp
I come over as capable but i am not all i ever wanted was to get married be a good wife and mother and i ahve stuffed that up
I have ended uyop with 4 damaged kids 4 bad relationships and a failed marriage
I am tred and weary and i can not go on and i am fed up withbeing dependable and reliable
I want the world t know that i do not have a clue what i am doing and i am worn out with trying I need rescuing well my kids need rescuing
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'If you have never been hated by your child, then you have never been a parent.' Bette Davis
'to dare to live alone is the rarest courage; since there are many who had rather meet their bitterest enemy in the field, than their own hearts in their closet.' Charles Caleb Colton
'commit your work to the Lord, and then your plans will succeed.' proverbs 16:3
'you dont realise what you have got until you loose it' someone
take heart in the knowledge that God knows what he is doing, even if we dont. bless you sis
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