Monday, December 04, 2006

ahhhh

I wish that I could say that I have found some relief in my battle with soul pain but I ahve not....
Infact I think that it is more intense than ever and issues seem to be come in thick and fast.
I really need break through please God

I am seeing that the main issue that I have is men that have been in autority in my life and caused damage.
So my battle is not just undoing this but pushing through with God becasue my flesh tells me that I am under Gods authority God is man there fore he is going to cause me damage and abuse me Right.
But my spirit is NO NO NO NO
God is not going to damage you
my head and emotions can not compute

last night the meeting was agony and I spent most of the worship time throwing up I was in such pain and destress
I do not know how to progress I just know that I Have to hang on in there some how And hope beyond hope that it eases soon before I fall to bits completely

1 comment:

Flamie said...

Hi Dee
Great to chat to you briefly!
By all means come & 'do' lunch with me. Probably best after New Year now I'm slowing down the amount of time I'm in Northampton till after New Year. I've updated my blog. Maybe my latest post will help you on your journey.Just hang on in & keep saying 'Yes' to whatever God says. Wwe build up all kinds of defences to cope with living out in the World because we weren't made to do that. Wen we come into Zion God has to strip away all that stuff (independence, materialism, self protection etc...) because they are the very things that will stop us really living in our new creation identity. But we don't realise how much of a security they have become in our lives. Just remember you have brothers & sisters who love you. Fall apart and let God put you back together the way He intended you to be. Community is exciting, painful and fruitful. I wouldn't be doing anything else with my life (even on the difficult days!)and there is plenty of joy and fun to be found in it all too. Appreciate your friendship. I'm here if you need me.
See you on the 30th!